Sometimes we as husbands go through our marriage not thinking that it requires work. We think only bad marriages require work. We love our wives but we come to our marriages uneducated to some degree. We have a disadvantage because many of us enter a marriage with limited husband skills. We learn how to be husbands from watching how parents are treat each other. We learn more specifically how to be a husband and a man from watching our own father.
Parents typically have the biggest influence in a boy’s life as he grows up to be a man. There are plenty of other influences but our parents have the most opportunities to influence who we are. And if we don’t learn the right skills from our parents it will hinder the way we parent and it will hinder the way we treat and love our spouse. And don’t forget our parents learned from their parents.
I had a realization that I have not done enough has a husband. I have not worked on our (my wife and I) relationship. I have not had enough heart to hear talks with her. I have not figured out what makes her feel loved. We don’t spend enough alone time together. I could go on and on but I have not been leading my house as a husband the way I should be.
So the question for me and maybe for you is how can I be a better husband? Hopefully you aren’t reading this when a problem has arisen in your relationship with your wife. But if you are, no worries because I am going to be writing about being a better husband and what I am doing to make it happen.
The book I recently purchased is The 5 Love Languages for Men. This book has been an eye opener for me as a husband. Of the 5 love languages I found that all of them applied to my wife in one way or another. Some of the languages came closer to home then others but what I realized is I should have been learning to be a better husband from the day I got married.
What I would like to do throughout the year is share some of the things I have learned through reading about being husband, how I am applying it to my marriage and what is working for me. I know this has originally been a blog and podcast about fatherhood but I think being a good father and being a good husband go hand in hand. As I stated earlier in the beginning of this article parents have the most influence on children and what better way to teach your children then how to have a good marriage.
Anyways you might not see me share to many articles on social media as I don’t want my wife thinking I am writing about this to impress her. I just hope that through some of my writings and experiences us fathers and husbands can discuss this topic to some degree or another and share what is working in our marriages.