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While looking through search results on the internet to see what other information was available on overprotective parents I came across the term, “Helicopter Parents”. With further investigation I determined this term or phrase was a derogatory description of parents who paid extremely close attention to the experiences and problems their children encounter. This was an apparent reference to parents hovering over their children.
The Study of Overprotective Parents and Helicopter Parents
The Sydney Morning Herald reports of a study that was recently conducted asking the question as to whether parents can do too much for their children. The study states that there is no well-accepted research that defines over parenting which can be best described as helicopter parenting. Helicopter parents also closely identifies with overprotective parents. So the overall study was to determine whether psychologists and guidance counselors in a survey can explain why the typical parenting practices that are of value can be overused. Their findings indicated that two thirds of those surveyed had observed some type of over parenting. Even 
though two thirds of those surveyed indicated they had observed signs of over parenting, the survey did not indicate that this was some sort of epidemic with parent these days.
Many responses from those who took the survey were cited in the study. Specific scenarios were provided by those surveyed which were instances in which they believed parents were being overprotective of their children. Below are a few of the examples provided in the study that I chose.
- A 17 year old teenager not being allowed to use public transportation
- Parents not allowing their children to attend camp
- Parents not allowing their children to get a license or to even take the written permit test because they felt driving was dangerous
- Getting a full report of what their child did that day
- Demanding better grades (like performing better than 80% on a test).
- Parents that made their teenage son go to bed at 9 p.m.
My Thoughts
One of the first concerns I had with the information in the study was that there was no back story or insight to the scenarios relating to the aforementioned examples. It’s as if those surveyed struggled for examples to share in the survey.
Public Transportation
To be truthful I wouldn’t want my child to take public transportation in the city that I live in. I would want them to learn how to use it but I wouldn’t want it to be the primary form of transportation for my children. There is an extremely high crime rate in my city. My children would be much safer with me driving them to their destination.
Camp
Because the information regarding the child not being able to attend a camp wasn’t available, I can’t really defend or agree with the statement.
Not allowing a teen to take a written driver test. The parents didn’t believing driving was safe.
The back story or situation was not provided for this statement. I will say that not every teen needs to be driving or should be driving. When their child turns 18 which is only a couple of years later they can do what they want without restriction. It won’t be the end of the world for a child to not have their license nor would it hinder their development.
Getting the full report on what happened during their child’s day
There are controlling parents and there are involved parents. I don’t know which this is but it doesn’t hurt for parents to be involved in a child’s life by asking what they did each day. On a personal note I make a point to ask how my children’s day was when I pick them up for school. I turn off the radio and make sure there are no distractions so I can find out what their day was like. I believe it is important to do this each day.
Demanding better grades from their Children
What is wrong with this? I encourage my daughter to do better in school every day. It’s not the end of the world if she struggles with something in school but you can rest assured that her mother and I will work with her on the things she struggles with so she will exceed in her studies. The fact that I care how my daughter is doing is school is another way for my daughter to know that I care about her.
A teenager being required to go to bed at 9 p.m.
A teen that reports his parents make him go to bed at 9 p.m. might have a hard time waking up in the morning for school. And what teenager didn’t have a problem waking up? As a result the parents make the teen go to bed at a decent time so that he or she gets plenty of rest. I never got rest and I slept through the first two classes each morning. It was a bit of a miracle that I passed those classes.
Happy Medium
As an overprotective parent, I know that there is a happy medium. For instance, I am overprotective on some issues and I can recognize other times where my child needs to become more self sufficient. I can see times when my son needs less assistance from me even though he requests the help. If I always help him then he will always rely on someone else to fix his problems. I can see what my child needs less of and more of as he grows up.
Maybe all parents can’t see things the way I do. Children are learning as they grow older and experience more things and so are the parents. Many parents are only parenting in the same manner as they were parented. Others take what they have learned from their own parents and improve on that model. We study and examine the way we raise our own children daily and in my opinion this is a good thing.
What is concerning to me is this blanket statement of what an overprotective parent is. Much of what is mentioned in the study relates to do with how someone perceives a parental action. Everyone will have different reactions to the examples provided in the study.
Let me end with this. I recognize that doing too much for your child will make them less independent. A happy medium in parenting styles is likely what we all are trying to aim for. With that being said, wouldn’t you take an over protective parent over a parent that isn’t there for their children at all? Maybe the media should lay off the parents that are doing their jobs as parents.
Thanks for reading,
Andrew
